Crooked Me

I really hate my crooked teeth. Why can’t they be lined up straight, like everyone else’s?

When I was little, I used to hope they would straighten up as my mouth and the rest of my body grew. But I don’t think I’m getting any taller, and still my teeth are all crowded in my mouth. I’ve lost all hope that they will get fixed by themselves.

I’ve asked my parents to take me the doctor that uses braces to straighten teeth, but they say we don’t have money for that. They told me that I should be grateful that I am healthy, and that I shouldn’t worry so much about my looks. Easy for them to say.

Some kids call me ‘grin’ because they’ve never seen me actually grin. I am green with envy of those girls who grin with no care in the world. Not me. I keep from smiling most of the time to hide the hideous sight of my crooked teeth. But when something really makes me laugh, then it’s worse. It’s either having my crooked teeth breakout in the open when I can’t help it, or making a weird-looking grimace with my lips closed shut.

Even in my dreams my teeth show up a lot. When I have nightmares, my teeth are worse than in real life. They look like sharks' teeth. When I have sweet dreams, I have a perfect smile, but then I wake up to my real teeth, and only feel like crying. Sometimes I pray at bedtime for a miracle to happen and that I would get regular, straight, lined up teeth.

Last week, my mother told me that she had figured a solution for my teeth problem. It felt like my prayers were finally being answered.

‘Really, Mama? What’s your idea? What do I have to do?’ I asked.

‘Well, it’s a little complicated, but it worked for María’s kid,’ she answered.

‘Whatever it is, Mama, I can do it. I would do anything to get my teeth fixed!’ I said.

She explained the plan to me. The reason my family can’t afford to take me to the braces doctor is because I wasn't born in the US. But my younger sister was born here, so she can get insurance for braces. A friend of my mother told her that she could take me to the doctor with my sister’s dental plan card, and we just had to pretend that I was my sister.

The day of the appointment, I woke up with a horrible headache. I’d been thinking a lot about what we were going to do, and felt mixed-up. I really, truly wanted very much to have my teeth straightened, but I knew deep inside that what we were about to do was wrong. We were lying. We were being dishonest. We would even be breaking some law, since it is fraud to pretend that you are someone else to get something. Except on Halloween, of course.

I was scared. What if we were caught? What if my parents would be sent to jail, or if they send them or us all somewhere we wouldn’t be safe? What would happen to my sister and me? Are straight teeth worth all this grief?

Yet I got dressed, had breakfast, and before I knew it, we were at the doctor’s office. My mother showed my sister’s card at the desk, and soon after they called me by her name. My mother elbowed me to go in, and I walked over, like a zombie, like sleep-walking. My headache was worse, and my stomach was churning.

I sat on the dentist’s chair, but started crying the moment they put a blue bib around my neck. Everyone there was nice, but I couldn’t stop crying. First, they thought that I was afraid of dentists. Then, they thought that I wanted my mother with me. I just cried and kept my mouth shut. I didn’t let them work on my teeth. I finally got up and ran out, with the blue bib trailing like a creepy cape.

In the waiting room I found my mother, who was also teary, talking to the woman at the front desk.

‘Mama, I can’t do this,’ I said.

‘I don’t want to do it either, so…’

I interrupted, ‘so nothing. Let’s get out of here, Mama. I rather keep my teeth as they are.’

‘You are not going anywhere, young lady,’ I heard the doctor say.

‘Oh-oh, we’re getting arrested,’ I whispered to my mother.

‘It’s all right, really,’ said Mama, holding my shaking hand.

You see, my mother had told the doctor the truth about our situation. They were figuring out a way to have my dental work done, under my name. We were going to pay little by little. I offered to save up my allowance to help out. Somehow my headache was gone by then.

I’ll always remember that day, the day I almost made a huge mistake. But I’m no crook. I may have crooked teeth, but my character is strong and straight.

(An earlier version of this story has been published in children’s magazines.)